Ralph Waldo Emerson, the American philosopher, once said, “For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” Have you ever thought of this before? Well, I believe life is too short for that, so let’s not waste any more of your precious time and dive in to find ways for effective anger management.
Let me tell you a story. Mother Theresa once went to a baker for some bread for needy children. The baker never believed in Mother’s missions was annoyed seeing her. Raged with anger, he yelled at her and spat on her face. She wiped it off with utmost patience and replied. “Thanks for what you have given me; but what will you give for my poor children?”His pride was pared down, and he gave enough bread for the children. The divine Mother was focused on her mission, and she was compassionate enough not to get into a heated argument. She also knew how to communicate her hard feelings.
Anger is a normal healthy emotion if you can manage it properly. But nowadays, people are too stressed out, and they tend to explode in anger and hurt themselves. Are you one among them?
Go through the below-listed anger management techniques and see how beneficial they could be for you.
Anger Management Techniques
1. Never suppress your anger
Remember, anger management is not about suppressing your furious mind. It is about dealing with your anger without hurting yourself and others around you. If you choose to suppress yourself, it will surface later, maybe after years, and it is sure to bring resentment in your relationships.
Earlier, I, too, had the habit of keeping everything to myself. I never communicated my hard feelings assuming that it won’t lead me anywhere and it will only heat things up. But later on, I realized, the more I hold back, the more annoyed I felt. So, it is always better to communicate how you feel, but it should be done correctly.
2. Express yourself without hurting others
When you find yourself in a flaming situation, consider delaying your response for 5 to 10 seconds. Believe me. If you could do that, you can save yourself and others from getting hurt. This is because the impulse that makes you lash out at someone will diminish after a few seconds. Hence delaying the response is always the best tactic in anger management.
While you pause for few seconds, take a deep breath. This will bring down your increased breathing rate, and you will feel more relaxed. You can start responding (not reacting) once you are sure that you are relaxed and comfortable enough. Tell the other person what irritated you. Stick to that one single reason. Don’t mess it up by dragging something that happened in the past to your present.
3. Avoid the triggers
For some people, the trigger for anger will be a particular person. For some, it will be a location that is linked to their past. Identify your trigger and avoid it if possible.
Even before you realize that you will blast at someone, your body will set off the signs. Your breathing and heartbeat rate will increase, muscles will be tensed, and u might even start shivering in case of heightened rage. Realize this and move out of the place or go for a walk.
4. Get to the root of your anger.
Spend some time alone. Pen down your emotions on paper; if you are too lazy to do that, speak to yourself. See whether you can pinpoint a particular reason. See whether you are trying to mask anything with your anger. You ought to get real deep to understand what disturbs you.
Once you find out, you can start resolving the issue rather than barking up the wrong tree. If it is about dissatisfaction in the current job, try switching it. If it’s about the family, spend time with them and share your feelings with them. If it is any experience for which you regret, and if nothing can be done to correct it, Come on, FORGET it. No one on this earth is perfect. No one expects you to be perfect. Chill and enjoy your life
5. Swill out the stress
I find meditation a natural stress buster. When I feel stressed out, I usually do a quick meditation. Meditating is not hard as you think. Try it out next time when you get stressed, and I guarantee you quick relief. Hanging out with friends who radiate positive energy, going on vacation with family, listening to your favorite music… All these will help you lessen your burden. Also, make sure to get adequate sleep to lessen your stress level.
6. Embrace your hobby
Spending time to do something that you really love is going to cheer up your soul. So take some time out of your busy schedule and use it up lavishly. Brush up your old skills, be it writing, gardening, or whatever you had put down in the past, giving lame excuses of not having enough time. Do it now. You will thank yourself for letting yourself live a happy life.
7. Adore the Cold Nose, Wet Kisses, and Wagging Tail
Being in the company of a dog is pure joy and patting on their head, playing with them, and everything about them will leave you spellbound. It is said that the stress hormone cortisol will be reduced when dogs are around. I had a dog during my school days, and I still remember how good it was to play and rejoice with him. (I must tell you I loved writing this part)
8. Attend Anger Management Sessions
If you are facing chronic anger problems and cannot help yourself, it is always good to attend anger management sessions. It might be conducted for a group or as one to one session. These sessions will help you identify anger triggers in you and how to respond without being aggressive. You will be taught various relaxation techniques which will help you in keeping your cool.